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Mitsubishi Lancer Ralliart 2009

“Factory rice” rides are always a conundrum. On the one hand, they’re rife with unabashed cheesiness: grotesque rims, offensive exhaust notes, a prominent wing and assorted cladding. Yet they’re too expensive for the teen tuners at which they seem targeted. So who’s buying these augmented econoboxes? Guys like me: 28-year-olds torn between adolescent rebellion and conformist careerism. So, can Mitsubishi’s entry in this semi-nihilist Nipponese niche, the Lancer Ralliart, fulfill the existentially-challenged man-child’s need for wheels?
Externally, there’s no mistaking this car’s appearance. A huge, gaping maw at the front kicks-off the theme of exaggeration continued in the hood vents, body skirt and (of course) rather large wing. So yes, it’s ugly. On the other hand, it’s ugly. The base Lancer, already designed with a pitched forward stance and frowning headlights, looks positively aggressive given the Ralliart treatment– a kind of Japanese answer to Chevrolet’s Cobalt SS. A bit too “2 Fast 2 Furious.” But that’s the point.

As a souped-up Lancer, the Ralliart’s interior reproduces many aspects of its donor’s design. Unfortunately, that isn’t a great thing. While there are welcome upgrades– paddle shifters and a leather-wrapped wheel and shifter– the rest of the Lancer’s pedestrian interior is left largely untouched. The radio (sans Nav) presents an ugly interface sprawled out over a convex dash, giving it an air of Trisomy-21. Meanwhile, the HVAC– nestled in a concave, silver strip below the radio– is split into three plain round knobs. It’s not a unified design. The dreariness is not limited to the center stack; the rest of the cabin is awash with hard, unrelenting, black plastics that have become the norm in these cost-conscious times.
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